Who am I?
About a week ago, I was reading my friend Karen's new photography website (www.karenpfeiffer.com.au ~ quick plug!). In particular, the "About Me" section. I really loved reading about what makes Karen, well, Karen.
Later that night, as I was lying in bed waiting to fall asleep, it got me to thinking. Who am I? I drew a complete blank. For years, I have been consumed by our struggles with infertility. It absolutely & utterly enveloped me, leaving almost no room for anything else. Then, I was pregnant. My focus then shifted to my pregnancy & labour ~ reading, research and above all, enjoying every second of being pregnant. And now that we have Charlotte, my life (naturally) completely revolves around her.
But I seem to have lost "me" along the way. Surely there is more to me than just being the infertile recently pregnant mother of a newborn? Am I expecting too much to be "me" (whomever that is!) in amongst the chaos & upheaval of life with a new baby? Or is this it now?
Don't get me wrong, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. But there has to be another side to me, somewhere ... I just need to remember where I put it.
posted by Jody at 10:16 am
6 Comments:
Honey I know what you are feeling, I wondered that a lot after we'd had the kids. I truly think the effects of long term infertility takes some time to work through AFTER your baby or babies arrive. I really do. It changes who you are and even when it is no longer the focus the internal struggles you faced back then kinda put a "blanket" over your feelings and joys from before...
Charlotte is still so little, just a newborn and yes life will be happily filled with your beautiful one. It takes time for your heart to remember the things that you enjoyed and perhaps those things have even changed. It creeps up on you slowly, finding joy in old crafts/passions/work... :)
Like in all things sweetie, be kind to yourself. <3
Life is often consumed by things we need to deal with (such as your journey to become a parent) and things we want to deal with (such as your adorable dd) and often there is no time or energy left to be ourselves and yes we do sometimes lose ourselves along the way.
It might not feel like it but you are still in there Jody and as you are asking this question now and not when your child(ren) are 16 you will have plenty of time to find yourself again ... enjoy the search!
I relate well to this post Jody :)
All I can suggest is go easy on yourself, start with one little 'ME' thing a day even if it's as simple as a daily latte.
I hope you can find yourself again!
Hi Jody,
I am a friend of Karen's from Adelaide. I have been a long time watcher of your blog from way back in the EB days! I wanted to say congratulations to you both on the birth of Charlotte! And to also say that you will eventually find yourself. It does take a bit of time but you will get there! In the meantime enjoy this time with Charlotte and Matthew!
Wishing you all the best!
Rebecca (3 TinLids)
Hi Jody,
I was the same. I think every mother goes through it to be honest. Give it time and you seem to adjust and suddenly find that you have time to get back to the things that made you "you" before your journey to parenthood began.
One thing that night help is starting an scrap album for Charlotte? If you haven't already. That helped me a lot. A little time out each week at someone else's house for a couple of hours did me the world of good :)
Take care xox
You are my friend.
xxx
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